Dreams of Mine
Alternative titles
- my dreams
- stream thought
- the day dreams
the dreams i manged to record while half awake.
wanted_choice_partialy_recoverd
(10/??/2025)
Tech dev where we create pods to dive in dream/substance/dreams/subconsious/alieshive/dead god/dead primordial/comatose being.
We wer the best/chosen/last, a growthsubstance discovered, beneficial is small dose/harm = harm. .
Normally giant ship with large crew to travel(dream/stars/dead world/past that wasn’t), solo tea, she/i went alone, discovered truth/cure/being/UNKNOWN, WANTES TO COME BACK, BUT WEAKENED SHIP HULL BEACH, airlock failing, went into pod to try to live/transfer/be, failure/partial/half/splintered/split/help/stuck, had to use the pink/mutation/gamma/atomic/, you were durable to it due to long exposure, only HOPE. Rescue yook to long(ALSO BECAME STUCK/SPLINT, BUT YOU HELP? YOUR FACE WAS/NODY MUTATED MERGE WITH POD?PARYIALLY , INSIDE/OUT/TRUTH BECAME REVEALED/NLDY/SIGNALESTABLISHED.
RESCUE, BEING..M..PLANNED, YOU HAD A TWIN/DEAD/HALF/FORHOT) BIOMETRICS/SOUL RESONANCE/VIBE/SOMETHING, he/she/twin had to open ship/travel/survive glade of SOMEGHING, BUT NOT THE ATOMIC/MUTGEN, mind power needed to build, you wibt into, ship alone, secretly/dont trust you,splint family,,SOMETHING, secret door, special, you were able to free some, but not all from the PODS/CRYO?HIBER/CAPSULEZ,, YOUR (TEIN/SELF/OTHER/HALF/MORROR, WAS locked beyond extra security? Broken interface, button not work, A LOVEL TOO DEEPS,) YOU TRIED, PARTIALLY FREED, YOU OPENED, THE MUATION SPLASHEDBON SOMEONES FACE FROM YOUR SUSTER POD/BODY, face mutated, whale on the floor/she became/ chrono/dream, srry . Something, slmething,sonethying,sohething, HUNDERDS OF YEARS LATER/ACCELERATED TIME INSIDE SHIP, pods worked, but needed to be freed mentally/mind stuck in IT/SUBDTANCE/HIVE/COMATOSE PTIMORDIAL, your sister/twin couldn’t be freed fully, she required something more, you left the ship without her, you heard herspleak/mumble/be in your mind, ((WERE YOU HER???, DEAD PART, DENIED PART, DENIAL!!!)) you left scared//sad/afraid. You dicide to come back latee secretl from fam/organ/crew, testers/professors,secretbenttance, sacrifice/risk snake, forgotten friend. Fiery red, killed other, almost killlend hime like a plant reqtuired air/humidity, could see bone, you went in,rjrvjvidngh, in you went, to free ger, you you founs old phone with contacts, something unlock, all were called at same time, 140 ° same)sync, , (old ftiennds, enemy, half remembered, loost) some wakes, you tries to free your sister manually, console would not let her out, screen (purpusly) broken, untouchable, a layer hidden deeper, seen butnot youch, so you triend to break open pod, some HAPPONS,BEDOMETHANG PAST DREAM NOT TRUE DEAD DENIED Access GRANTED SOMETHING AWOKE, haf to escape fast, had to get her out, bur she wwould lose ab(/large pizza) of herself, you wanted all off her you tried, she woke up, she took her week limb/leg/arms/ other extra appendages, and hugged you, revelled in that touch, so long lost, now be yes,
you woke up? , damaged, but awake at entrance(no) , in bed(?) In multitude.
Was i ever? Or was i just a dead dream? Was i her? Did she absorb me in birth? Am i a broken of piece of her?
an_artist_disgusting_want
(23/02/2026)
and so
i dreamt
daydreams
i saw it
in a huge space, whole dirty body of mine
with grime and rist and ink and cables everywhere
pierecing
with a brush as tall as i am, as long as my body
black ink on it it, engraved in ornate design, weathered, used good,
i was laughing, grinning, i imagened myself happy , in that moment i was happpy,
all alone in thhat great box, it was mine to taint, mine to take, mine to shape
there waas also a pencil, about as long as the brush,
names , no text m= drawn by pencil, and typed out floathed behind me, pieces of inspiration
tit matters not how i paint theis world my colors , be it pencil , inkt, words, story, text, blood, intestines,
i just need a medium
in that place, with b=giant brush in y hand, painting,
what did the box house domain look like?
it was filled with hanging paper, noooses i ade for myself as reinders, itt was filled with rope, fro wall to wall, struing, strung tight, i together they made of a flower, bed where i sleep, ymy cocoon
not quite, a place of rest,
words scribled all over the wall, with blood and words and shit and piis and cu and inkts and grephite and wood, out of that what isn’t there
everytihing taken apart, not everything, everuthing i had taken an interest to, taken apartt, because i wanted tio know
it was so beuatifull, i was at peace, BUT NO
THEY PULLED ME OOUT, MAKE CONTACT TEHY SAY , BE SOCIAL THEY SAY, SO I WEAR MASK, TO HIND WHAT I TRYLY WASNT
BUT WHAT DO I WANT
tumor child
i had a bump in my leg , it botherd me for avfrw weekks, i tpop pop and and a fetus came out, like 1 xm i tried orbit was likevas bigbas my hand smaller, i tridd to feed it it needed a bath i put it in my slul bowl with lther smaller doll plastic like copu of fetus wateevro deep i was waiting yt it was important no no no n o n o stop why iititir i let it drpwn , it didn’t breath for 2 mon,v horror, o blowed on hhim ibtav name david i blowrd it qas alive it qas hungry it qas dykng no nl no ndnriijrj wanted tp buy that molk poedee stuff it was tl bigbviciouw, thick it he was smaller didn’t knpe it but now he was 1 fentimrter cm long je jad a he had 1cbif theethvaboce roq whu my dad saud tl nillle feed him me he barelay fjt arrrrlundvmevkorjdkvkr nopllw, jwhh , kaw jamedbopwn, tried a fewvsaus?@days ?? hours times why even a sist i had poped open wjen hr was trying ro feed he chocked, he he he he wha!????!? no we sometim later 1bsay latee winkel centrum ae neexex tl buy powderd bab milk he needed itbdlnt die david it was full no no novno nifjrjdjdjfjfjfjfjfjfjvwhy bough clothees wd had to lwave hin on a cart by. t h e cassa, wevhad t theblopowder butbwheb we beed as an arrt, we xane back to a dries ip deathbdavid rk latebwhybwhat
3 or 2 or 4 latee ywar j had ankthee chklr child sma whay i shkuld have research then davis alivw
hs ia hwalthvî i saw. savis fhisr bwhins hjm wassllinf likw a 4 ywa olsvqhwb hwcsiws qhsb hw qas a few mlnrh s
and then then then, thank you dad for trying to jelp he tried yk when on the xart we despajr then joked, ww i mea i took pic od david death therevwas a bottle next to him
mom joked, displaced in time a friend of mine we caught here trying to manipulate another girl seduced and sucseed for a year1 then co nected to dreams we and another friend, she was cgloathing jn other girl ff room and slipped out she was chwating on her mad cofuse
we gor out,her eyes crazy ww went to ou4rv room we i did i mention we were in those laper walls bamboo houses of japan
when next day2 daek no sun alept to long a friend gathering vacatipn it wad we sisnt invite anh girls it was fuysconly ,we saw the friend that was cheated on being eatws alive witj blood viaceravon wallscmout floor ecerywherese lookwd i went back she laughed ae had a vent top floor hiddex dragfed her body there wwe wajay theb she ate another driend and the we were jn the mall again to buu the milk for pkwexer mminlk clo with. my i dean family we goal was subjext wascto walk ul staier telikineses invjs forcwd death wil eise fastwe and faatwr but evil vloses lead down the weonf path, i scream trust gut and we had to go we called and it connectwd to the hope real lersln we i got our wand we saw a ddavid dried hust no yet final cry ddol 1 centimeter from his face he died.
SYSTEM BECOMING
2026-05-18
and so when struck a was
was split by what. like a wake when mind laid bare, no justlooosend a bit unconsious leaking in reality a viasage of me i saw
myself
i was in my room in front of friend orand in front of family they noticed me mem me
like everye fantasy outsidemuself came like half true i wac wad was
like i had a black mist behind me , 10 arms, hunderds of arm, black seeping with ink and despair i ripped but also same time hunders of blood red drilping arms in front and back of me, on a stairwell of of of
but also just extra flesh arms behind me multiplying, i was growing out of myself, every half assed personality i made up and i am and was and thought off. personas formed i saw growing as mouths half formedheads eyes oyt of myself, talking as the same time, half some so half assed that he wathat coulnt speak some could only whispers of what they are
and and and and and and and nadndndn.r there i was i heard them all they only heard the outside but they weee all thinkinv at the same same tine mulitplyung bc they were no longer bound by MIND CAPACITY, and they just kept groeing and becoming never quite breaking free
i was a bird half fomremd human i crawed, “WHAT DID YIU THIN THINK YOU DO NOT FRIEND AND HATE AND I AM NEED TO SEE”
and and i was all that and above and more and less.
I NEED FOCUS STRU TURE ORDERING SHADOWWORK CONSOLIDATING REFINEMENT
appears above all my centrrs and reality and shafts and tears above me positioned aboce me i saw it no i made it a FALLBACK SYSTEM STRU UTE PKM ORDEREXING. SYSTEM CREATIONA
a graph apreared above me 2d hovering groeing folders and files and notes and manifwstos ordering being madw to order folder myself inward. putting the to much in thr inboxdumpextraTOSORT or or at least however much i they SYSTEM capacity wasiswereis
it soinned above me arms and tags anf knowledge and oublicand sorting into flat file sttucutr and thd then then
subconsiousraw structure, contstelation developed, no a ococube but 8 sides cant cant
ir exploded into graph into 3d it was spinning a ordering systemlitrpgsystememacslinuc system terminal windows apreared and glitched and warpes and more and less and ordering not fightingrestling brawling against thecobidu leakinge into reality the bodies being i was was structure a fallback system i makde initialized that was the system i was being mdade i ordered refined fouged myself up
and then never finished finished no i was almost achieving the most unstable unstable chaos of a baseline nnd i do not nlknow if sucseexed aand and anf and and.